The Smiling Assassin

Image credit: verzh / 123RF Stock Photo
Image credit: verzh / 123RF Stock Photo

He’s two, he’s beautiful and he’s a leader – a ring leader.

When I say he’s beautiful, I mean he’s the good looking kind of boy that people say should have been a girl.  He has very large dark brown shining eyes framed by impossibly long thick lashes.  He has cupid bow lips that end in little dimples and perfect high cheek bones.  His skin is brown and soft as satin and he struts like a man who knows his purpose.

If anyone was born to join the French Foreign Legion or the SAS it’s Master 2.  That’s if I can teach him to use his powers for good.  Otherwise he’ll be a mercenary.  His nickname at home is ‘The Smiling Assassin’.

He’s manipulative, destructive, wilful, stubborn, vicious, noisy, sneaky and narcissistic.  And these are just his good qualities!

He is fearless and has an innate confidence which says ‘I will always win’.  While others might be working out how to climb to the top, he’s already done that and made his leap.

This little cyclone terrorises people at will, bigger or smaller kids, but especially adults, he does not discriminate.  He hits, pinches, punches, pushes, pokes eyes, throws, screams and breaks.  He can also be snuggly, fragile, soft and loving – sometimes.   He has a gentle, doe-eyed look that melts hearts wherever he goes.  However, he is not one to be trifled with, he may be small but he packs a wallop.

He defies my every attempt at discipline.  Having privileges removed doesn’t worry him because he can’t remember what he did, or has a practiced look of innocence, I can never be sure.  Getting a smack doesn’t affect him; he continues on as if nothing has happened and time-outs work if I am prepared to continually put him back into the time-out spot after he simply gets up and runs away.  Quite frankly I am sick and tired of counting to three to try to get him to do something.

He’s cheeky.  When asked to apologise he’ll yell “No, never!  Shut-up!”  I hope this is all a phase and that we can turn his negative attention-seeking ways around.  He exhausts me.  He’ll scream for something and when I give it to him he rejects it out-of-hand.  Then when I take it away, he screams to have it back.

This behaviour means I spend my days protecting Master 1 and 4 and trying not to blame him for everything.

I know I love all my children enough, but there is probably a great deal of sibling rivalry going on in our house.  I know logically that there is an innate awareness that the amount of love in any family is always limited and sharing it simply halves it, which, to a two-year-old, feels like missing out.  I know it’s important to realise this and not feel like I do not love my children enough, but at times Master 2 is very hard to love.

I know it’s up to me as the parent not to replicate this negative behaviour by getting angry but any parent knows this is easier said than done.  Of course, we all experience anger and do not like anyone being angry with us.  So if we are the target of an angry response to our behaviour, we naturally get angry back and this becomes a negative cycle.  For example I get angry when Master 2 hits Master 1 hard on the head with a toy and I yell at him in an angry voice, or worse, smack him for hitting.

To break the cycle we have to avoid repeating the behaviour in the first place.

To apply this in my situation; Master 2 is two and he is the middle child and probably feels that Masters 1 and 4 get all the attention.  So to divert attention away from his brothers he will do whatever it takes, good or bad, to generate the most attention, even if it’s negative.

Like I said, it is good to know all this; to apply it in a busy, stressful day-to-day situation is quite something else.

Thankfully, the Foreign Legion take online applications.


15 thoughts on “The Smiling Assassin

  1. Welcome back Hayley. Missed your blogs. Good too see you and your family is just as much fun as mine, except we don’t have to deal with the middle child syndrome/attention seeker.

    On my own for 2 weeks whilst Troy and kids are south visiting rellies (I couldn’t get time off work – Doh!). You could send Master 2 to your Mum in K-Town and I can give her a helping hand! ;o)

    Love the foreign legion idea. Gave me a giggle this morning – just what I needed after my first time home with an empty house and no voices constantly asking ‘Mum, what’s for dinner?’, ‘ Mum, Darcy’s hit me!”, Mum, Taylah hurt me!’, ‘Mum, come outside and watch us play!’, and the endless repeated questions as they haven’t stopped doing whatever it is they are doing to hear you answer the first, second or third time! All this whilst you try to make dinner, get the eldest to do her homework, feed dogs and chooks, put the washing on and the rest of the domestic bliss that we all face everyday. ;O)

    This has been more ‘fun’, especially with Troy being on shocking shift hours at work for the past 4 weeks (and will be on again for another 4 weeks when he returns). We are lucky if we see him for 5 minutes a day lately. Ah well! that’s the Police force for you. ;o). Got to take the good with the bad. ;o)

    Keep on perservering with No 2 – hopefully you will still have your hair and sanity by the time he/you sort out the issue. Love to you and your family.


  2. I absolutely love this, very true with my son as well, only he is an only child, he just very much craves attention 24/7 no matter what I am doing. Good luck, try not to pull out your hair too much, I tend to do that quite a bit these days.


    1. You know motherhood is SO hard, sometimes it’s defies explanation doesn’t it…there is so much hair-pulling that I’m sure I’ll be bald soon! lol have a great day and thank you for reading 🙂


      1. I swear sometimes I am going bald haha. I agree, it can be hard, but it can be so rewarding and I remember that when he does something so sweet and kind and shows he cares for everything and everyone. You have a great day too and I will definitely continue reading, it is a very good blog you have here.


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