Oh, Fuck!

Source:  Google images
Source: Google images

My four-year-old just said ‘fuck’. Now, for the record, we are not prudes.  We do swear but we make a huge effort not to do so at home or in front of children.  Instead of shock or anger I think I felt a pang of grief.  My instant thoughts were ‘how can this be happening?’ and ‘you are growing up too fast’.  Somehow his innocence evaporated for a minute as he knew exactly what he was saying and the gravity that the word carried.

It had been a long day of struggling with domesticity while Mr MF worked.  There was mess everywhere I turned.  Each time I tried to clean up, or at least put things away the children came along like little cyclones and completely undid any meagre achievement towards order.  I am talking about the pantry being emptied onto the kitchen floor, dirty dishes unwashed, clean dishes not put away, pencils and Textas scattered on the floor, clean clothes and dirty clothes in mixed up piles, the shoe basket emptied out, pillows and bedding pulled out of bedrooms to make a cubby house and half eaten food left in the strangest of places (peanut butter crusts in a hat anyone?).  Master 2 is also the master of attention-seeking and can wee on command and had wee-ed on the floor twice for no apparent reason.

If I turned my back to do something a fight would break out.  Someone is hit, or pinched or bitten.  If I want to go to the toilet I need to quickly distract Master 2 from putting Master 1 in a headlock and wrestling him to the floor.  Usually ‘Wheels on the Bus’ on YouTube does the trick and then I can make a mad dash for it.  I have to lock the toilet door so Master 1 doesn’t follow me in and unravel all the toilet roll or wipe snot and dribble on my legs as I sit there trying to do my business.

So after a frustrating morning I was more than pissed off when, after foolishly deciding that Master 1 needed some ‘nappy-off time’ that he wee-ed on the floor too and then swished his hands through it and spread it everywhere.  I yelled “Arrrrrgggghhhhhhh!” and went to get a towel to clean it up.

Master 4 quietly came over to me and said “Fuck” very calmly.  This is how the conversation unfolded:

Trying to remain calm myself I said “No we don’t say that, we just say ‘Oh dear’”

“Really Mum, what about you say ‘Oh Fuck’?

“No you don’t say that.  That’s an adult word.”

“What about ‘Hollow’ is that an adult word?

“Hollow”? <confused> No everyone can say ‘Hollow’

“What about “No”, is that an adult word?

“Hollow and No are OK for kids and adults.  Don’t ever say adult words until you are an adult OK or you will be in very big trouble.

“Ok Mum, sorry Mum”.

I think the only sound I made was an audible sigh but internally I said a very loud, ‘Fuck me!’

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3 thoughts on “Oh, Fuck!

  1. I have been dealing with that word from my four year old son for a year now, unfortunately due to his adhd, I have not been able to wean him off of it, I can honestly say, I know how you feel when that word is screamed internally, I normally shout it in my head at least 3 times a day, after calmly repeating “We don’t say that word, it is a bad word and only adults say words like that”. It never seems to work, as he calls me out on that phrase and says calmly “If it is such a bad word mommy, I don’t think adults should say it either, it’s not setting good examples”. Well then, I guess my speech about setting good examples for children really set in lol. I love your blog!

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    1. Hi liamsmomma! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my blog, it means a lot. Raising children is a life-long struggle I’ve come to realise, and every day they hit you with something new to explain or deal with! Sounds to me like your little boy is very switched on 🙂 The swearing thing is so hard because of course you want to raise children to be socially appropriate but they have a way of going to the core of whatever it is that most upsets us don’t they! Thanks again for reading, have a great day! Hayley

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  2. I remember when Taylah first said the word, watching Funniest home video, some idiot did something (as is usually the case with this show) and I hear this little voice pop out with ‘Oh! fuuuuccckkk!’. Drawn out as well for a bit more drama, like she knew exactly was she was saying, she was only 2 1/2. I looked at her and said it’s a bad word and we are not to say it. Two seconds later, the response came again. I was shocked to say the least, butlike you, we are not prudes and try our darnest to not say such words in our house, especially when the kids are in ear shot (best intentions as always), so I suppose it’s bound to happen. ;o) Troy came into the room after this and reinforced the issue and we didn’t hear it again, until earlier this year, where she popped out the word again (some 3 years later). Troy actually heard it this time, and he punished her with no TV for a week! Well, the tears started then, and lots of ‘I am sorry, I won’t say it again!’. We even stated that if the big kids at school (as the school has primary, middle and secondary school students attend the one school), she is not to repeat it and if they say it to her, then she say to them that ‘It’s a naughty word, I don’t like, please don’t say it to me again!’ If it continues to report it to her teacher. Not sure if she has done this, not sure if it will have ramification’s down the track, eg: bullying issues, etc because she stands up to them, we will just have to deal with it that if we ever have this issue.

    Darcy has apparently also said ‘shit’ at school according to his carers. The Director said that she didn’t actually see him say it, but she thought she heard him and caught the little boy next to him saying it, whom she knows is a parrot, and assumes that he had copied it from Darcy. So we also have had a talk to him about bad words, and what to do if he is spoken to by someone using these words. He has only just turned 4.

    Don’t you just love our children, our wonderful talking parrots! ;o)

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