I love my place. It’s the dry season and one of my favourite things to do is sit on the deck under the tamarind tree and just let the breeze gently buffet me. I’ve always liked to do this. As a child I would lay on a rocky outcrop near my childhood home. I liked the heat from the rocks warming my body like a lizard. I would absorb my surrounds while just staring at the sky or the way that leaves shimmered as the wind shuffled them. Something about this simplicity stilled me and as an adult I seem to have forgotten how rejuvenating it can be until this morning.
I’ve talked before about the benefits of just being in the moment and appreciating all that you have, so I took my own advice . . . The light is bright, but dappled in the shade of the tree and my big boys play around me while Master 1 sleeps. I have things I could be doing but having achieved a lot of household chores yesterday today’s idleness is not a guilty pleasure (not that this should even be a consideration).
It’s been a while since I did nothing but hang-out with my children so today I decided not to bother with too many reprimands or multi-tasking. I know my ‘to do’ list will just grow anyway and I risk missing my children grow. I don’t want to miss any of it. I want to want the whole motherhood experience all the time, but some days are too hard to get through and it’s all I can do not to serve up Weetbix for dinner. But today is not one of those days. Today is an easy day, I don’t know if my attitude made it easier or if it’s just one of parenthood’s unexpected gems. Either way I will take it.
The boys and I make ‘experiment traps’ (bottles filled with rocks, water and weeds) to catch snakes, we play shops using rocks as money and play airports and travel to Darwin and to Cairns. We draw animals with chalk on the deck and write our names. We chase each other. They fight. I drink coffee. We enjoy each other. They want coffee so they get the milk and poor it into my empty cup.
Master 2 practices throwing his toys over the fence. Master 4 rides the scooter in ever faster laps around the deck.
In a rare moment of stillness Master 2 cuddled up on my lap and just held me. Master 4 came over to give us all a family hug. He said, “I can hug you with my bones, with my whole skeleton”. You know those moments that make it all worthwhile? This is what I’m talking about.