Teething is a new kind of hell, remember it happens in stages!


Teething is a new kind of hell.  Having made it through the first round of toothy-pegs erupting like tiny white mushrooms (with a little help from the Rolling Stones) I foolishly began to relax again.  Master 1 had settled back to his usual little easy-going self and the whinging, grizzling, clinging demon-beast had retreated.  He was SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT again and I thought I was fucking awesome at this parenting shit.

Then, last night he woke screaming at 1:30 am and refused to self-settle. I was in shock, what was this?  I mean I had been sleeping through (mostly) for a month or so and had dared to get used to it.  I think I even forgot that there was surely more teeth to come.

So there I was, bleary-eyed trying to lift him up in the dark to soothe him and stop him waking the rest of the household.  I then struggled into the kitchen to fill his bottle, heat it up, screw on the teat and test the temperature all one-handed (because if I put him down he screamed up a gear).  It fucking amazes me what a mother can do with one hand.  Multi-tasking; bring it!

I sat to feed him and he greedily drank the bottle while I half dozed and enjoyed the silence.  He finished the bottle and continued screaming where he left off until he belched and suddenly stopped and looked around wide awake.  WTF!  He is usually dozy after a drink of warm milk and a cuddle from Mother of the Year.  He then continued crying which led to checking his temperature (high-ish) and then a dose of Nurofen (mostly spat out).  I gently felt his gums and sure enough the tell-tale little spikes were there; round two of teething had begun.

I relented and patted him to sleep in his cot.  It has become such a repeated scenario that I can do it without thinking and, crucially for me, without being angry about it.  I patted him until I was sure that he is sound asleep and then crept out.  I felt it in my bones that almost an hour has passed and then I was wide awake and I knew that morning would soon arrive.  I knew I would have to meet the day without feeling refreshed.

I don’t know why teething has to be painful or why it has to happen in stages.  The sooner it’s over the better.


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