I have clothes for all occasions in a range of sizes (given the up and down nature of my weight since having children) and I always have nothing to wear. Today’s wardrobe challenge is particularly harsh; I need something to wear to a 5 year old’s birthday party, but not just any birthday party – this one is every in-between-sizes-wibbly-wobbly-mum’s nightmare – the pool party. You can image my enthusiasm.
I have already grabbed out my go-to sundresses. I could not believe that they gaped at the back and the boobs. There was simply too much material and I looked like a stick in a sack. Shorts sagged in the bum and flopped at my hips. Shirts hung off my shoulders and were far too wide. But the outer-wear was the least of my worries as I could not find a bra that fitted reasonably and then there’s the question of swimwear. If my children were going to swim then so did I since they are not old enough to do it by themselves yet. In the interests of decorum and practicality it had to be a one-piece but they made my already flat chest disappear and they were too loose to even hold my belly in.
In a way it’s good to know I am losing weight but I seem to have surpassed the clothing I had stored away hoping to fit into again one day. It’s annoying though because I have not bought anything new and my shape does not allow for any of the so-called ‘tips to get you through in-between sizes’ like using a belt to ‘cinch’ me in and define my waist. All this does is add centimetres to my waistline in bunched up fabric and make me look like a rolled roast with bulges everywhere.
I stood staring at my naked self in the mirror this morning. The best way I could describe my shape right now is that of ET. I have a skinny neck, arms and legs with the bulk of my bulk hanging low on my tummy and hips. I look like a blob of something that has started to melt slowly in the sun. I can only hope that my weight loss ‘journey’ ends in some kind of proportion.
In the meantime it’s started raining. Maybe at least I will escape having to swim.