When is ‘submitting’ better than ‘obeying’ your husband?

What kind of a modern world thinks that vowing to ‘submit’ to someone is better than to ‘obey’?

A recent news article on ABC’s 7.30 stated:

Sydney‘s Anglican Church has been accused of sexism, with new marriage vows requiring a wife to submit to her husband. Critics say it’s yet another example of conservative church policies driving away the mainstream.

Is it any wonder the Church has copped flak?   I don’t think it’s a step forward to simply replace ‘obey’ with a synonym and call it progress.

The vows are one of the new options in the Sydney Anglican Church’s proposed prayer book. The husband vows to honour and protect his wife and she promises to honour and submit to him as the church submits to Christ.  It’ll replace a woman’s promise to obey her husband.

Excuse me for not seeing the difference.

Every couple has the right to choose their vows; it’s a very personal commitment.  However, religious couples do have their vows set out for them with limited choices.  The young couple featured in the episode got in quickly to use the vows before they are officially voted on by the Church’s synod in next month they liked them so much.  Good on them.

But the Church is not doing too well on the PR front if they think this is an improvement.

There are those who would say that marriage itself as a concept is an antiquated form of ownership anyway and leave the whole kit and caboodle well alone.  Living in sin is the new black, yet weddings persist.  People seem to like the tradition and ceremony and are a huge industry in Australia worth $4.3 billion and the ‘average’ wedding costing more than $36,000.

My husband and I had a low-key beach wedding.  The whole event including dress, cake and reception cost $7500.

In our vows we promised to support, to encourage and to make each other laugh.  We promised to dream together and achieve those dreams together.  We promised to never let the sun do down on an argument and to strive to show each other our love and respect for the rest of our lives.  There was no submitting or obeying – just a commitment of togetherness from our hearts.  Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Are you married?  What was in your vows?


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